Not sure where this post belongs to, but I’ll add it as a self-care. Basically, people of my generation (Gen Z) are either considering to be single, or childfree and it feels as if I’m the only person who wants to start a family and have kids. Maybe this world is so over-populated that future generations starting their own families is no longer a concern? I will ask my peers why they prefer that kind of lifestyle. Not that I’m actually judging them for their personal choices, but it’s a surprise to hear the same answers coming from 85% of the respondents.
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i am from Gen X and i find it interesting to know more about the reasons they would not be looking for a child. In talking with a few that i know, they are more in tune with issues in the world and think that to bring a child into this world, knowing the issues is not the thing to do. They want to try and make changes in their community and support everyone to be better.
I don’t think there’s really real simple way to quantify why people don’t want kids these days. Modern life has countless pressures and and stimuli that influence us on a daily basis, and for many it’s all day since a large part of the modern world has adopted a perpetually online and connected lifestyle. A lot of it has to do with what Griz said, as well as in some countries if you have a problem with what ideologue teachers are indoctrinating your kids with, you’re labeled the bad guy or a criminal. You can also factor in the economic realities that presented themselves during the vast overreaction that crippled many economies during the pandemic years and made it hard to just feed oneself let alone a family. Work days get longer, and paychecks stagnate as everything gets more expensive. Political strife, borderline decriminalizing crime in some places, no wonder nobody wants to bring a kid into the mess. Even from a purely selfish position, it’s kind of financially irresponsible unless you’re making a decent living. Another facet is for some reason, at least in the US, we got into this spot where there was this glorification of giving everything to your career because at the end of the day, it’s going to be your boss, coworkers and clients standing around you at your deathbed, right? There was and kind of still a weird push to make women not want to be mothers and instead be this girl boss thing, as if there isn’t a way to be successful and a mother. Spoiler, two things can actually be true at once. Honestly, one of the worst things that’s been done to modern society is the attempted destruction of the nuclear family. It does seem that young people are starting to reject this modern value system and return back to a sort of neotraditionalism. I probably don’t even really scratch the surface of the problem with this reply.
I am a millennial and I am not married and I do not have kids.
Its funny because when I was younger that wasn’t the plan. I very much wanted kids and a husband of my very own because that was the reality that all my friends were living; but sometimes life just doesn’t work out the way you think its going to.
In my case, it never does.
I think the main reason why I don’t have those things is because I never met a guy who was even remotely interesting enough to where I would want to reproduce with him. I am not an incubator and I am not here to populate a planet that is already riddled with masses of stupid people just struggling to get through the day. The thought of having children with any of my exes kind of nauseates me if I am being honest.
I know its statistically impossible that they were all mistakes, but…they were all mistakes.
I work like 60-hours a week and can barely get myself up in the morning to be a responsible human being much less a child and a husband. The older I get the less patience I have.
I know it sounds selfish, and it might be but I like being able to make my decisions based on my wants and desires versus having to consult with a man about them or consider the ramifications my choices might have on a child. That seems like just a lot of unnecessary stress to have because when you are young you get what is known as “baby fever” only for them to one day grow up to tell their therapist how badly they are screwed up and how it is essentially all your fault.
Also, have you seen the news? This world is so crooked these days. Its a miserable place. People are barely able to survive with this crazy inflation and bringing another life into the picture kind of just seems cruel and a bit selfish if its done for the reasons most people do it (So they won’t feel unloved and alone as they age, or so they can get a bigger tax refund).
Now don’t take that wrong, I am not suggesting you don’t have children or get married because I do still somehow believe in love and I think that is a magical thing if you can find it. However, choose very carefully because the wrong man and a baby before you are really ready can be one of the hardest struggles a woman can face.
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Thank you for the response. It’s insane how the life system works these days, being married with kids can be 100x stressful. I know this world has millions of others that want to reproduce, but I actually want to fulfill the life of my children, unlike those “sad beige” or Instagram moms that literally ruin their faces with plastic surgery and tons of nasty shit. I know I’m being rude, but I don’t understand some women’s logic nowadays. You boast about your career and how much cash you earn, but goddamn it, think of your kids. Let them explore the world and don’t exploit them as your accessory.
Thank you, humankind, you’ve extended insanely expensive prices of renting and housing, but where are we supposed to live if we can’t afford that?! Why was I born at the wrong time?! I want to believe there’s still much faith and hope in this small planet.
I broke up with my first ex-boyfriend a couple of months ago due to my mental health issues, but during our relationship, he was the most kindest and sweetest person I’ve been with, and he still is to this day. I have things to take care of, but I want to remain optimistic when I’m done with my studies. Just need to be patient for 2 years and I’m free.
I guess that explains a lot. The world has become pretty chaotic, feeling like living by yourself is a chore. Is that normal to feel this way? Maybe there’s still a chance of fixing world’s biggest problems.
Oh yeah, that’s the first thing they have to do for good reasons.
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SOme of my friends only had kids in late thirties. SOme are still single. i think this generation wants to build up their career first. and also, it was the known thing back then to marry and have kids. but these days we have a choice. SO people are exercising that right. U should be happy to marry and have kids, thats a blessing. Dont worry about what others are doing!
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Well, keeping yourself alive and a roof over your head is kind of supposed to be a chore. As opposed to leisure time anyway. I can’t speak for what’s normal, but it everyone’s gotta deal with it to some extent. Honestly, the worlds problems aren’t going to be fixed until either the masses can manage to do the impossible and stand up together and say, “This is how it’s going to be now” or all of our owners die off and if we’re lucky, their successors don’t follow in their footsteps. It would be more likely to invent a light switch that turns the sun on and off than either of the former options happening I would wager.
I think it is wise to decide what you want for your future, but I think as a teen, young adult, you don’t really know what you want, or maybe you do and things change. If you want to be a parent, then you should, if you don’t you shouldn’t. There are so many factors, money-they are expensive, time, lifestyle (do you work or travel all the time, will you have time for them??? I just think it is something to consider and while your peers may say they don’t and you say you want them, just means you see your life path differently then them and your nurturing instincts are strong.
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As a mom and working parent Brent, I don’t think there is this push to dismember the nuclear family, families just have evolved and changed. There are children loved by two moms, two dads, grandparents, family, adopted, etc. I think we really need to stop thinking in terms of “trad wives” as they are trending online. Whatever the choice, it should be made individually and as long as that child is wanted and loved, that is all that matters.
I still think there is a cultural push towards phasing out the nuclear family. While I do believe the vast majority of people at least in the US don’t subscribe to the madness, it does seem to me at least that there is or at least was a push for it. I also disagree that the only thing that matters is that a child is loved. The way they are raised, taught and the values instilled within are majorly important to a child growing up to be a well adjusted adult. Love is just one component in raising a child, vs it being the only one. The idea that we HAVE to stop thinking of traditional values, or trad wives as I see it put is just another reason I think the nuclear family is under attack. Why can’t people want traditionalism? The problem with both sides of this mainstream debate is they each believe that it has to be all or nothing and the other sides ideas are problematic.
I think mostly because women don’t want to be looked at and expected to not have a job, education and just push out babies.
I don’t know who’s expecting women to be uneducated, jobless, and spend their days pregnant, but there’s nothing wrong with 2 people getting together and deciding that they want a traditional marriage or relationship, although having a family on a single income is fairly prohibitive these days.
Fair, I am just saying, that is kind of what trad wives are kind of kind of throwing out there, maybe not the education part, but family can be any group of people who love on and raise up, great kids, in my opinion.
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Oh, I agree for the most part. Family units are for sure taking on new forms these days. I do believe that structures outside of traditional may present their own unique challenges which isn’t to say that it’s not possible. Personally, I don’t think we have had enough generations go grow up through these new family unit makeups to really say for sure if it’s a net positive or not, as while they certainly exist, they’re very much a minority thing. I think the whole idea that the term “trad wife” came into existence is in response to how much the times are changing, weather it be due to an actual malicious attempt at destroying the nuclear family, or just people not wanting to completely leave traditionalism behind. Thems my thinkins anyway.
Every generation lately says that, especially in their 20s or teens. When you get to be 30ish, people start having kids often accidentally, then on purpose. So yeah, less people are hqving kids, bur also I think your generation is relatively new on this planet 
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So Brent I have to ask what you meant when you said teachers are indoctrinating kids? I have a son who just started college and a daughter who is in 2nd grade and I have not seen any indoctrination going on. I also have to say I don’t think its a bad thing that more women are wanting to have their own careers and not feel like they have to be house wives. I think its great that my daughter will grow up in a society that doesn’t make her feel like the only thing she can do is make babies and be dependent on a man. Many things that are labeled traditional were also kind of repressive. Not that long ago women couldn’t even vote in the United States. Was that not a tradition? If someone wants to be a housewife or a househusband they still can but its ok have other dreams for yourself. I know it can be scary or unfamiliar to see society changing but over time humans are evolving. I don’t know if you have kids but I imagine if one of your kids told you they were gay or in some other way not “traditional” you would still love and support them. I really only want my kids to be happy and healthy and as long as they are not hurting someone else I am ok with it… even if I don’t fully understand it.
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Whelp, when talking about indoctrination, we’re talking about the process of teaching a person or group to accept a set of beliefs uncritically. Now when we look at institutions of learning, political ideologies are being pushed and have a heavy presence on campuses with many of these young people not even understanding the concepts they accept so vehemently. That would be what is meant by indoctrination. If you’re asking about something closer to home, children who aren’t even old enough or even need to know about sexuality are being taught sexual identity politics without parents consent or even knowledge in some cases that have come up. Now, I’m hoping it’s a small minority of schools that do things like this, but something like that rattles a lot of cages, and can seem like it’s more widespread than it is. Doesn’t take away from the fact that it’s happening in places.
I also never said that it’s a bad thing that women are taking charge of their lives and going out and getting careers. What I said had to do with people having to have it at either extreme, weather it be barefoot in the kitchen on one end, to man hating girl boss on the other. Yes, many things that were labeled as traditional were were repressive, but those weren’t even the subject of the post nor my response.
The ability to vote has nothing to do with the nuclear family or why people choose to have, or not have kids, so forgive me for not needlessly wading into the weeds on that one.
Again, I never said that it wasn’t okay to have dreams for oneself. In fact, when it comes to being a house spouse and having larger goals, both things can be true at the same time.
The bottom line, is there is most definitely a culture war, that has divided the country through a major political schism and cast uncertainty on the future, especially with young people who now are bombarded with vastly more information than previous generations by organizations that definitely have agendas in the name of said culture war. Hence, why such a big decision or event like having a kid is becoming more and more unappealing and terrifying when you feel more and more uncertain with every news cycle. (Which is another problem but not as relevant to the question.)
Hopefully that’s a satisfactory answer. Sometimes I struggle to stay on track and get what my brain wants to say out with my fingies on the keyboard.