first day of eating and no cutting and i feel like shit

You are strong you can make it thru. You made it this far. And if you do backslide you know you did this and can do it again. Keep it up and good luck. Know that you have friends rooting you on.

I am curious to your story, I want to help you if I can...Tell me about you, and congrats on not cutting today!

dollarc2009 i was raped from age 4 untill i was 20 . i hate courts because my father ould only be charged with a few of his crimes because most of them were commited before we moved to america and the trauma caused me to develop multpile personality disorder . i am currently married with 3 kids and another on the way . i love my family but im afraid im going to hurt them . and thats pretty much me

be proud of yourself for managing without your usual ways of coping, that's ace! i know it feels like crap at the time, but it will get easier the more often you manage it.

how did you get through? did you find other ways to distract you? remember what worked and what wasn't so helpful. knowing this will get you by next time.

well done missy!

love
maedi

no i didnt distract myself i just gritted my teeth and did it .

Well, if you are afraid you may hurt them or yourself then you should seek imediate help. I know you feel that you will be admitting to being crazy or depressed, but change your mindset. Say I am doing this for me, and if you in your loving mood say I am doing this for my family. I so understand the multiply personality disorder, I suffer that myself along with many other things lol. It can be a bit aggravating. Sometimes we just have to do things we dont want to in order to get results that will make us happier and better people. So I say seek out for help call a suicide hotline or go to a local emergency room let them know how you really feel. It will not be worth it to hurt your family, and though at times you wont feel depressed if you go to the hospital just know that you are doing this for the times that you are you have to take care of each of your personalities. I think also that if you are there in a hospital and feel fine then at that time try to make a differcence in helping those around you and use the help when needed....what do u think? As for the raping, my how my heart goes out to you that is so very sad as well as your story I read about your mom, dad, brothers, and how your dad is the father to one of your children....I am so sorry you went through that but thank god you are out of all that....u are arent u?

professional help in this case is advised maybe talk to someone you trust

I totally agree with everyone on getting immediate help. If you put it off for too long, it may hurt you and your family and you could be living in that "should of could have would have world"-and its no place for anyone to be. Sometimes taking the first step to changing old habits is tough, but hey, you did it-just by taking one small step that made a impact for the better. Remember, you are strong ! I commend you ! :)

i feel like im being babyish or something but i cant understand how this world can be so unfair . he does 4 years in jail and im screwed up the rest of my life . i know justice doesnt exist but i expected something more than this, i dont know maybe im just crazyer than i thought

Your not crazy. However you can not let your past determine your future. Live in the present and let go of the past, get justice for youself by bettering yourself. You need to take the first step to get help and I say see a doctor. Then go from there.